Why You Should Never Start With Childhood

Begin at the middle, not the beginning.

Most families sit down to record and immediately ask 'Tell me about your childhood.' It's the wrong move — and it…..

The childhood question feels natural because it's chronological. But chronological isn't how memory actually works. People remember their lives in emotional clusters — not timelines. Starting in the middle, at a moment of tension or transition, activates the kind of vivid, specific recall that produces real stories.

• Open with a specific era, not a general period: 'Tell me about the year everything changed.'

• Ask about a choice before a childhood: 'What's the hardest choice you made before age 30?'

• Let them correct you: 'I assume your twenties were mostly stable — is that right?' Wrong assumptions unlock correction stories.

• Only move to early childhood after they've warmed up on high-stakes material.

• End the session with: 'What did I not ask you that I should have?'

"Chronological isn't how memory works. People remember their lives in emotional clusters."